I came across a piece I had written a couple of years ago and thought I should share.
When I play music, I really let Myself get carried away. Each note I play is more than just a note, rather it's an extension of a feeling from deeper within Me: the sound that carries through the air feels as though it comes straight from this source and I often forget it is My own fingers coaxing the note to life.
Ever since I could remember, performance has been a gateway to an entirely different plane of existence. Each time I perform it is not long before I am lost in this other dimension, wandering carelessly inside of it, feeling the most free I have ever felt. I always considered this place like the embrace of someone who truly loves you. A place of complete safety and joy, where nothing can take away the feeling of being complete while I'm there.
I feel understood, consoled, and at peace (even if that peace has layers of despair woven into it, as it often does). The tension of My sadness is washed away with each chord, each crescendo, each coda, and is replaced by a sensation that I am not alone when I am here within the sound of My own emotions.
For Me, the bass is incredibly sensual: the vibrations through My chest make it like I need to fight for each breath, only comparable to the uncontrollable, heavy run away pleasure of reaching an orgasm. I have had fantasies in the past of playing a slow, heavy bassline while sitting on top of an amp no less than 400 watts with My legs spread and someone licking lightly amongst My labia, teasing Me as I try to play. The vibrations pulsing through Me in waves much like the waves of pleasure I feel from the tongue toying with Me...
Music has always been something sensual to Me, whether it be something accompanying a lust-filled moment shared with others, or a private moment shared only with the melody. I have played My bass alone where I couldn't help but sway My hips seductively to the song, feeling a shiver run up My spine often making Me moan as My fingers dance with Me across the fretboard. And I have often reached My climax with My lover as the music in the background reaches its own.
Music is a love I have had that has grown from a deep-rooted passion that brought comfort and joy to being much more than that. My music empowers Me, it moves Me, it pleases Me in more ways than most people ever could…